Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
