This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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