Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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