Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Randomize
