You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
