We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she told me i tasted like america
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
