in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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