I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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