just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
