they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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