after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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