How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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