1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize