I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
