I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My breasts were aching with rage.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
