OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
