we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
