their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
