i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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