What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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