Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
