The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
