I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
