is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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