I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
soo... how was my night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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