Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
