conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
