:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
