Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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