U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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