He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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