my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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