The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
