matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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