glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Houston, we have a squirter
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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