You're so nebulous sometimes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He? As in you personified your dick?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
