Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle