Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
