I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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