i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
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