The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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