Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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