i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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