She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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