i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
