I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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