I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
