You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
