That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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