i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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