and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
