I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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