dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
