I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
