4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
