I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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